From Chapter Four, Eros.
By Eros I mean of course that state which we call "being in love"; or, if you prefer, that kind of love which lovers are "in." [...] I am inquiring not into the sexuality which is common to us and the beasts or even common to all men but into one uniquely human variation of it which develops within "love" -- what I call Eros. The carnal or animally sexual element within Eros, I intend (following an old usage) to call Venus. [...]
Sexuality may operate without Eros or as part of Eros. Let me hasten to add that I make the distinction simply in order to limit our inquiry and without any moral implications. I am not at all subscribing to the popular idea that it is the absence or presence of Eros which makes the sexual act "impure" or "pure," degraded or fine, unlawful or lawful. If all who lay together without being in the state of Eros were abominable, we all come from tainted stock. The times and places in which marriage depends on Eros are in a small minority. [...] Conversely, this act, done under the influence of a soaring and iridescent Eros which reduces the role of the senses to a minor consideration, may yet be plain adultery, may involve breaking a wife's heart, deceiving a husband, betraying a friend, polluting hospitality and deserting your children.
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