Growing up, I thought that as long as I believed in a nebulous Sky Fairy named God and was a decent, moral person outperforming those below me on the ethical food chain, I would end my life hearing the old theme song to The Jeffersons television show and be "movin' on up" to heaven with all the other good guys. So I worked through high school and graduated Most Likely to Succeed and student body president. I was very proud to have never drunk alcohol, smoked a cigarette, tried a drug, or voted Republican. [...]
[In college] Without a car and majoring in boredom, I began reading a nice Bible my high school girlfriend had given me as a graduation present. She was a pastor's daughter who, in retrospect, should not have been dating me. Nonetheless, she has turned out to be an amazing wife who is the embodiment of her name, Grace. To this day, I preach each Sunday from the Bible she gave me, even on the Sundays when, as a good professional hypocrite, I tell the unmarried people never to date non-Christians.
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