Take for example the most far-reaching spiritual investment that most of us ever make: "Should I marry this person?" It's a huge question for young people to face, and they need some help from those of us who've already faced it. We shouldn't misdirect them by getting them asking the wrong questions. The worst question of all is: "Is this the one?" The assumption behind this question is that God has a particular person in store for you to marry: that's his will for your life, and you need to find out who's the one he has in mind. This way of thinking makes your most fundamental investment -- the person in which you invest your whole self for the rest of your life -- a guessing game about what's in the mind of God.
But suppose God wants you to seek wisdom, like a steward learning to make good investments. What sorts of questions should you be asking then? Here's what I tell my students: you ask a series of questions about what's good. You ask, first of all, "Is this a good person?" For you should marry a person of Christian virtue: kind, faithful, and generous of spirit. Then there's a second question to ask, more specific: "Is this person good for me?" That is to say, you should marry someone who resonates with you in particular. [...]
There are many good people out there with whom you can make a good marriage, and a good marriage with a good person is good enough. Indeed, it is more than good enough; it is one of the greatest blessings on God's green earth.
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